We have some targets for a new house we're visiting this weekend. None of them really get me all giddy inside...but I might as well face the fact that "giddyness" would come from a new 3000 s.f. home in Midtown Tulsa. Which won't happen as long as lots in the area go for $200,000. That's LOT. Meaning, grass and dirt. I doubt the city would let us pitch a tent there...
So here we go...we're tired of perusing ads and doing drive-by's. We're ready to start kicking tires and find the Hometeam a new dugout.
But these realtors and their ads...I'm getting wise to them. If you should be on the lookout for a home of your own, beware the terms below. I'm all for creative writing, but during my home search I've come to find out one has to look past the flowery phrases and see the house for what it is:
1. "patio home" No yard.
2. "move-in condition" My goodness, this one really bothers me. Some people think could move-in condition means functioning light switches.
3. "must see" What could they mean will happen if we don't see it?
4. "granite" Granite seems to be so desirable these days that some ads just print the word with no "kitchen" or "bath" behind it. I started to wonder if our house would ever sell since we don't have any granite anywhere in it. Maybe this isn't a misleading term, just bothersome to me.
5. "vintage" Old.
6. "vintage tile" Old tile.
7. "newer roof" What the heck does this actually tell me??? That it was newer than the first roof, which was replaced ten years ago?
8. "new price" I love this one: why don't they just put "reduced"? I've never seen a "new price" be more than the original listing price.
9. "as is" Translation: "we aren't fixing it up before we sell it so don't ask."
10. "formal dining" Means it has a room the Hometeam will never use.
11. "priced to sell" WHY ELSE WOULD YOU HAVE IT ON THE MARKET?
12. "cutie," "charmer," "good bones." Yes, I've seen all these terms in ads recently. Perfect if you're buying a cocker spaniel.
I'm starting to have flashbacks about when I was a marketing writer and I was always trying to spin words to make the reader get a warm fuzzy inside about whatever I was selling at the time.
...guess it takes one to know one.