Friday, February 08, 2008

"Let me change your diaper, then we can study for your test..."

Alex is two. Not quite two and a half.

Next Tuesday he has a TEST at Mother's Day Out.

His teacher said she will be testing for "average two-year-old skills and abilities." Letters, numbers, shapes, etc., and I'm assuming motor skills. I think Alex will do okay, but if she really wants to see if two-year-olds are where they should be in their development, she should add the following evaluations:

How many seconds (minutes, if applicable) does it take the child let go if he has his teeth locked on to his brother's back?

From a seated position, how far can the child launch a french fry? Banana? Plate? Sippy cup?

What is the decibel of his cry when he is put in time out?

How fast can the child break your grip and run down an aisle in Wal-Mart? Target? Your neighborhood in general?

How many seconds does it take your child to notice a kitchen cabinet without a child lock?

How old was your child when he first broke a child lock?

When did he first slide a large bucket of toys (or a large firetruck, or his sibling) down the stairs?

When was the first day your son or daughter's older sibling ran to get away from him?

How many times a day do you get big sloppy kisses from your son and forget all about his "proper development"?

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