Over the weekend Mickey got his first Star Wars toys (don't you like how I provided an IMDB link? As if there's one person on the planet who doesn't know about this movie and yet reads my blog). I know...the movie is more than 30 years old. And I haven't seen it. I was only 11 when it was first released and my choices in movies then were limited to the one channel we got on our black and white TV.
But even if I don't know the enduring story, I thought I knew the characters until Mickey showed them to me (I did recognize R2D2...I'm not a complete idiot). Anyway, he wanted me to play Star "Hors" with him, to which I absentmindedly said yes. I was hoping he'd forget but I don't know why because he never forgets when I promise him playtime.
So I sat down with my five-inch action figure in front of me, and 14 other tiny pieces of stuff. We twisted our beings into all their little stances and handed them and re-handed them their saber thingies. After 20 minutes of hell on my part and bliss on his part, I announced to Mickey I had a good time and I was done.
"But we haven't played Star Hors yet!"
"Huh? I thought that's what we were doing."
"No, mom! We have to shoot each other."
"Because that's what Star Hors does." (I could have sworn he said "duuuuh" after that.)
So he commences to making kachow, pow, peusuuhcvhhh, sounds with his five-inch character whose name I still don't know. And making a weird jerking motion with it at the same time.
I did my best to sound like I was trying to shoot back in the process. My guy did end up losing his head, except he had a helmet looking thing to snap on in its place.
After a couple of minutes of battle and my person/Droid thing died, Mickey seemed satisfied that we'd finally "played Star Hors." Thank goodness.
I wanted to tell him if he wants a battle all he has to do is knock on his brother's door. But for reasons known only to George Lucas, he seems crazy about this movie he's never seen, a story he's never heard, characters whose names he can barely say. And he seemed so excited when we finally sat down together to play.
All I'm saying is next time I get roped into pretending to pretend about Star Wars, I'm having a glass of wine first.
Might make death easier to take.