Thursday, December 18, 2008

Stop. The. Madness.

Ranting time: I would really like to show up for Christmas Eve festivities and not be sleep deprived. Or have a headache. Seems like every year I commit myself to too much pre-Christmas activity and then I wind up too tired to even enjoy the holiday itself.

The thing is: I don't have to do most of it. They are things I've signed up for, things I want to do. In spite of my husband still ailing from foot surgery. And my nasty head cold. And ugly weather that causes the boys to miss a day of school.

Part of me likes the busy-ness. The hustle-bustle of the season. The feeling of accomplishing a lot in a short amount of time. The "yuuuummm" look on people's faces when they taste something I've baked or made them for Christmas (wait, have I ever made any Christmas gifts?). Finding the right gift, taking the boys to holiday activities, baking...I love all that.

Then a minute later I'm like...why did I need to go to all that trouble? No one is grading me on my Christmas efforts. No sugar cookies this year? D MINUS. That gift wrapping job is mediocre! C Plus. Slaved over a countertop painting meringue snowmen with fondant scarves? A PLUS!

Yeah. Not happening. This year or ever. And yet maybe it does in my own little head. Maybe I'm a little proud of all that baking I did when Alex was only three months old. Or maybe I feel like since I stay home I should get more holiday stuff done (okay, that doesn't make sense even to me).

So anyway, for me it's a constant struggle between doing what I enjoy and simply overdoing the joy. I have to find the happy place that's comfortable.

And allows me to keep my eyes awake during Christmas Eve Mass.


Anonymous said...

I know what you mean. I made myself say no to alot of things this year, mostly little things like "secret santa", that stress me out. I just want to enjoy the season before it is all gone!

Jan Ross said...

I feel the same way. I always do too much, yet I get a lot of enjoyment and satisfaction from my decorated house, my homemade butter creams, all the wrapped presents under the tree. I guess it is exhausting - but it's worth it!

Rachel said...

Oh, this really resonates for me. I always overcommit and end up regretting it later.

I hope you're able to carve out some "nothing" time in the midst of all the madness.

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