As I sat outside, I watched Shirtless Jogger Man sail by on the street in front of my house. Got your mental checklist?
1. Suck in your abdomen.
2. Lose five pounds instantly by standing up tall. Shoulders back and down.
3. Pretend you don't see him.
4. Make sure he sees you.
Forgot to mention that was written in 1999. Read on for the updated version that actually happened yesterday:
As I sat outside, I glanced up to see Shirtless Jogger Man sail by on the street in front of our house. Got your mental checklist?
1. Hold your 36-pound son so he doesn't fall off your lap.
2. Assure him toenail clipping does not hurt.
3. Remind yourself the pajama pants you're wearing need washing.
4. What man?