Y'all don't worry, I'm not posting my drama out here every single day until Carson comes home. But I could if I wanted to 'cause it is my blog and I'll cry if I want to.
And I have.
And it came out of nowhere.
And my friends understood.
I'm good with Carson being in France. I'm good with his host family situation. I love that he's getting to do this with kids he's known since Kindergarten and a chaperone he loves.
But apparently all this "goodness" has elevated my emotions without me realizing it.
Yesterday I was at work and I got a call from my doctor who wanted me to come visit her before she called in a prescription for me (to cure this nagging, three-month-old cough). The appointment she offered me was in the middle of my work day, THAT day, and I hadn't made arrangements to be gone. So I did what normal people do when they have to leave work unplanned:
Then because crying for this reason is so absurd, I began laughing. It was all just absurd. And my friends at work were like, um, what are we supposed to do here? And that made me laugh some more while I was crying.
I ended up going to my appointment at my friends' suggestion (lordy, pity them had they said not to go), missing the rest of the day's work, and getting a bunch of prescriptions, an X-ray, and a breathing treatment (maybe I should have had one of those at the airport).
And then I realized that if I'm going to have a peaceful next 16 days I better get my emotions together, for my sake and those around me. Yes, it's an emotional thing for me: I'm proud and happy for him and overwhelmed and yes I MISS MY SON. So all of that means I'm going to be a little sensitive to things like demanding doctors.
I suppose that's okay as long as people are aware it's not them, it's me. I should wear a badge: "Caution: Son is in France. Disappoint me at your own risk."
Aww, I'll be able to keep it together until he gets back. I have no idea how I know this, but I believe it at this moment and that's what matters.
So on to Days 6-21. I can't wait.